Hollis Baker’s Blog

I am surprised at the popularity of Halloween these days. It didn’t seem that way when I was a kid. Oh, us boys ran around town soaping up windows and looking for lawn furniture to put into other yards. I remember one Halloween night we moved neighbors cars to the front of other houses. That caused quite a stir the next morning when they went out to go to work. But we never caused any real problems. I have heard stories of guys who managed to put wagons on top of the schoolhouse and on occasion a live donkey with it. What we didn’t have was “Trick or Treat”. Man, I think we would have liked that. I wonder who invented that activity? One very smart guy don’t you think?

There is a story that goes around this time of the year that I always like to hear. Now, I didn’t make this one up and I don’t know any of the people in the story nor if it is a true one. I hope it was a real happening. I don’t want to give the ladies that may be reading this any ideas, so I suggest they not read any further than the end of this paragraph.

Bill just loved Halloween. It was the holiday of the year he liked best. In late summer he began planning for the big event. Bill shopped all the candy stores and stocked up for the big spook night. He bought all colors and shapes of candies. When October came around he bought decorations for their house. He spared no expense. As the day approached he began cooking special cookies and muffins. Bill made sure he had plenty fresh fruit to give to the “Trick or Treaters”. Cutting faces into pumpkins to make Jack-o-Lanterns consumed all his spare time. His wife was long suffering and tolerated his obsession.

Finely the great night arrived. Bill assembled all the treats near the front door so they would be handy for the kids. And they came. In bunches they came from all over. He handed out the treats and enjoyed seeing all the little kids in their cute costumes. As the evening wore on into the night a lull came with kids to the front door. About this time his wife hatched an idea. She slipped into the bedroom, found one of the children’s old Halloween masks, removed all her clothes she dared, and covered up with a bathrobe. Quietly she made her way out the back door and around to the front. She rang the door bell. When Bill opened the door she yelled “Trick or Treat” and opened her bathrobe. Shocked, Bill stumbled backwards, fell over the coffee table, knocked over a table lamp and fell to the floor breaking a leg and cutting a gash on his forehead. In the racket and yelling the dog bit Bill’s hand. Mercifully, he passed out. His wife called 911. When the medics quite laughing they hauled him to the hospital.

Bill called in sick the next morning and decided he just might have overdone Halloween’s celebration. His wife agreed.

Now I see, some of you ladies read all the way to the end. Don’t you get any ideas, please. It might be a little painful on us old guys.